The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs analyze excellent sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, making love brings immense meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to make love with somebody we are drawn in to very difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and web uncontrolled , resulting in powerful sensations of destination, excitement, love, closeness, and well-being .

When issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They probably would not admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that much of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in cosmopolitan areas, sex is readily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, encourages sex. If a prospective partner is going to be sexually compatible, lots of gay men desire to discover out from the starting. Why waste look at this now your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow over find this time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, objectives, and values -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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