The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex carries tremendous significance and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to have sex with somebody we are brought in to very hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong , causing effective feelings of attraction, enjoyment, well-being, love, and closeness .

But when problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely would not confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that a lot of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in city locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

North includes, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is crucial. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your description partner options by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, worths, and objectives -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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