The Sensuality Lure, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, having sex carries immense meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great too).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels besides physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), official statement makings the opportunity to make love with someone we are brought in to exceptionally difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel extremely near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in effective feelings of destination, excitement, love, well-being, and nearness .

When problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is fantastic!" They most likely would not confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, states that much of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in urban areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

hop over to these guys Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, values, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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